Surrendering

The first time I REALLY felt GOd's power in my life was during the third term of my second year. Projects poured in and conflicts arose. I was on the verge of failing a major subject, there were misunderstandings between groupmates and everything was really out of order. I felt really hopeless. I had no where to turn to except God. It's when I realized that I have always relied on myself and only ask God for help when I couldn't handle it anymore. God was always last.

I guess it was GOd's way of calling me to surrender my life to Him because I've never really learned how to surrender fully before this incident. I was spiritaully high this time and felt God's hand carrying me through all the trials trying to block me from my goal. I felt invincible with God by my side. I felt the fire to serve Him and became more active in my ministry. I not only passed the subject but even made it to the Dean's List through God's grace. The term ended and I was very excited to finally get my well-earned vacation. It was the best summer vacation ever! But even though I was having the time of my life, I couldn't help feeling a little... empty. I felt God's grip loosening until He finally let go of me. I knew He was still there but I was scared because I couldn't feel Him anymore. I couldn't hear Him anymore. I even had a difficult time praying because I felt like nobody was listening to me anymore. I shared this to my councelor at the Powercamp and said that sometimes God gives us rest but it doesn't mean that we should stop serving Him. God never leaves us nor forsakes us. He just sometimes stays silent.