My Deadly Sin - Pride

A few months back, I was struggling with my pride. People around me were trying to convice me to settle unresolved issues I had in the past. But I was too hard headed. The more they were trying to convince me, the more I hardened my heart. I felt that it was a battle between me and the people. Giving in to them and making the first move for me was a sign of weakness and I didn't want to be the weak one. I made up so many reasons to why I SHOULDN'T make the first move:

- I also felt that it was no longer necessary to clear things up since i've already explained my side so many times and everytime i do so, he says he understands. I THOUGHT he really understood me.
- I didn't want to make the first move because i dont want him to think that i still like him and that I want things to go back the way they were before.
- I was bitter and angry. ("I didn't do anything wrong! He snubbed me first. If he really loves me like he proclamied, then he wouldn't just snubbed me because I told him to wait.")
- I felt betrayed. ("Where are your promises now?")
- We're both happy with our own lives now, what's the point of digging up the past?

I can think of so many other reasons to NOT resolve the issue but only one reason convinced me to do it: It's what would Jesus do.
If Jesus was in conflict with someone, He would have settled it.

GOd spoke to me when I was reading the Bible one day. I came upon a bible verse that says: "So when you offer your gift to God at the altar, and you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there at the altar and make peace with that person, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24, NLT).

I'm not saying that the person I'm referring to has wronged me. I believe that it's not anymore a matter of who's right or who's wrong. It's a matter of different opinions and views which were misunderstood and neither one of them cleared it up. So a simple misunderstanding grew into a big deal when other people got involved. I'm not blaming others for intruding the conflict. I understand that they have good intentions and I'm really thankful for their concern.

God spoke to me so many more times but I kept on refusing to listen to Him even though I know deep down I was letting Satan win through my pride. One incident that really pushed me to do it was through a series of dreams. I dreamt of writing a letter to the person and I really did it in reality. The problem was, I let pride get the best of me again so I kept the letter for about a month. I kept telling everyone and myself that I couldn't do it. But then I realized that everything is a choice. There's no such thing as I can't. It's just that I won't. I knew this had to stop. I wouldn't let Satan win anymore. The day I decided to lay down my pride was a personal choice. I didn't do it because people told me to. That day was just between me and God. I asked God to help me fight my pride. It was a struggle but I'm glad for I have victory in Christ. I have no regrets because I know I did the right thing. =D